Breathe
by Healing Spirit
Summary: What limits would you take for the one you love? Even if it means sacrificing everything... would you still do it? ClotiXCloreith
1. Shattered Glass

Hey guys! For those of you who read my Yu-gi-oh fics, hello again! lol I know that for all of my fics, I am not even halfway done, but I couldn't help starting this fic about Cloud and Tifa! From the day I watched the FF7 movie, I immediately fell in love with them two! Then as I got to know their story better, they captivated me, especially Tifa's feelings toward Cloud. I guess I feel so strongly toward them two because

1) Tifa kicks butt! Which is not how people usually portrays girls, so. lol

2) Cloud is really good-looking . lol jk. But seriously, he is. But Tifa is gorgeous, so it evens out. lol

3) Their story is so sweet and sad and I can relate to Tifa in a way with my own experiences.

4) They belong together! lol .

Well, enough of my yapping, let's get this party started!

**Final Fantasy VII: Breathe**

**By Healing Spirit**

**Chapter One: Shattered Glass**

The chilly night air whipped through the silent streets of Midgar; forcefully kept out of the warm sanctuary of the houses and stores lining the dimly lit sidewalks. The occasional cat or dog loitered on the cold concrete, along with some cars occupied by exhausted drivers eager to arrive home at last. The streetlights leaning over the sidewalk cast a thin, eerie glow amidst the stifling darkness.

A sleek, ebony black motorcycle is parked to the side of a tidy bar down the long street. Through the dusted window, a lone silhouette can be seen hunched over a table, dressed all in black, which greatly accented his great mane of golden hair. His hand clutched onto a tall beer bottle, his hold firm and desperate. Being that the only source of light in the room was a solitary light bulb stationed in the very middle of the room; the man was unaware of another, who ascended the flight of stairs behind him.

_He came home today. _

_However, nothing new had happened. Just as many times before, he leaves as often as he returns, only to leave again the next morning. I don't know what to do. Each and every time he leaves, I say the same thing over and over like a broken tape recorder: "Be safe. Come back soon."_

_Whenever he leaves, I never know when he's going to come back. It could be days, weeks, even months, before I can see his face again. Denzel and Marlene need him… **I** need him. My heart aches whenever he looks at me; whenever I think of him. Whenever I think of his beautiful blue eyes that seem to stare right into my soul. Whenever he gives a little indication that… he knows I'm there. That… he knows I'll always **be** there, waiting…_

_Why did she have to go? Because of that, he wanders in and out like a restless wind. I can't rid myself of this constant pain in the very pit of my heart when I think of his love for her. I know that I cannot ever be that same… that I can never be thought of as… the one who he loves. The only one in his heart is her. I know that it is only her that can mend his heart. But by knowing that, it hurts more than anything I have ever dreamed of. But what hurts more… is when he pushes me away. Every time I try to comfort him, his faltering expression lodges my voice in my throat. Every time I try to hold his hand, to speak to him about how he was feeling, to even look him in the eye for more than a second, he walks away… Because I am so afraid for him to go, I gave up trying. Now, whenever we do get even a moment alone together, he rarely looks me in the eye, we stand or sit at least 5 meters apart, and the distance between his heart and mine spreads even more…_

_Why doesn't he understand that the reason I still work here, the reason I'm always waiting, the reason I worry day and night, is because I care about him… that I… I **love** him. I love him so much… that though I am dying a slow and torturous death that is devouring me from the inside, I wait all the same. In some days when he does come back, each time he even looks at me as an acknowledgement, my heart smiles. Each time I watch him eat what I made for him, I feel a little more alive. Each time I lay on my bed and watch him sleep across from me, I am at ease, because at least for one night, I know that he is safe._

_I know that Denzel and Marlene notice my state, by their hugs and smiles when I smile, just for them. I know that they miss him when he goes, by their silence with mine. I know how badly they need him and how badly I want for him to stay with us… so that we can be a real family. So that we can live. So that we can survive… together._

_So many days, I just want to quit. I just want to let go of this stupid fantasy I keep conjuring up to keep myself alive. This fantasy where we are a real family. Where we are complete in one another, where we can let go of the past and move on, together. I try so hard to go on, each passing day. But the days feel so long when I wait for his call, though I know he never does. But I call him though he never picks up, sometimes as often as 10 times a day, all with the same message:_

"_Be safe. Come home soon."_

_Tonight, I can't sleep again. Knowing that he's back, at least for another night, at least enough time for me to know he's all right, that he's still living. I roll over to my other side, only to see that he still hasn't gone to bed. While I was descending the stairs, I strained my ears to hear Marlene and Denzel sleeping soundly in the room next to ours. When I reached the landing, my heart stopped._

_He was hunched over the table, hand holding onto a beer bottle. I could tell he was not asleep by the occasional swing of the bottle followed by a gulp. It pained me so to see him in his drunken state, to know that he was now resorting to drowning himself in liquor to mend his broken heart… to forget._

_I wanted to say something… to let him know I cared for him… to let him know, at least to some degree, the worry clouding my heart. _

"_Cu- Cloud?"_

_My voice was barely above a whisper and his name barely escaped my parched throat. _

_He gave no indication that he heard me. I repeated his name again, a little louder. This time, I knew that he heard me by the slight lift of his head. _

"_You should sleep soon. You need to get some rest."_

_Though I didn't get a response, I decided to leave him be and went back to the room. I was used to the cold shoulder by now. So this is what I have reduced myself to. Though he never greets me with warm words, though we never say anything except when necessary, though each day passes will me waiting for his return… my heart still beats for him. My heart will not let go… **I **will not let go… as long as he is alive, I will care for him. No matter how many times he pushes me away, no matter how many times my heart is shattered… I will always love him and will do anything…. **anything**… to make him happy... _

…_to bring her back…_

Sooo… is it an okay start? Please tell me how you feel about this story! Should I continue, or does it belong in the garbage? Constructive criticism would be most welcome! Thank you! If you guys review, then I'll post the next chapter up soon, if you guys like it, that is. lol By the way, each chapter (or at least, most of them) will have a foreshadow for later chapters. lol Just thought you guys should know. Bai Bai!

P.S. CLOUDXTIFA 4EVER! 3


	2. Tortured Whispers

Oh My Goodness! Thank you, guys! Wow, just reading your reviews have just brightened my mood! lol Just so you guys know, I have a LOT of dramatic stuff cooking… boiling, whatever! lol Keep in mind that the other part of the genre besides drama is fantasy. . I blabber too much! On with the party! I mean… story! lol

**Final Fantasy VII: Breathe**

**By Healing Spirit**

**Chapter Two: Tortured Whispers**

The thud of heavy footsteps echoed throughout the staircase as the tall figure clambered up the stairs, his coordination disintegrated by the affect of the tremendous bottle of liquor he had drunk. He had a hard time moving up just a few steps, but his mind was as empty as his expression; just what he had intended.

The black wool shirt he sported around his chest did little to stop the river of shivers that ran down his spine and caused a pained groan to escape his lips as he doubled over. His golden hair askew, his steely blue eyes emotionless, his mouth set in a thin line, his muscular body weak and unable to support itself, he swayed on the spot and soon felt his surroundings blur and the wooden stairs rushed up to him.

Up in the room, Tifa heard a faint 'thud' in the staircase and her eyes shot wide open. Lifting herself from the bed for the second time that night, she crossed over the room and turned the corner to the stairs. With a saddened frown, she preceded the heavy task of dragging Cloud up the stairs and into his bed. She felt her muscles tighten at the large weight she was straining to drag. His beautiful head lolled side to side as she went along with her work, blissfully unconscious.

After several minutes of dragging and pulling, she finally reached the bed. With one last amazing feat of strength, his tall body was hoisted up onto the covers. By then, Tifa was panting hard, catching her breathe by leaning both hands onto her knees. Her mind was obscure at the exhaustion and fatigue she had forced onto herself, first by not sleeping, second by the constant worry she possessed for the man sleeping on the bed across from her.

When the cool rush of air into her lungs finally steadied itself, she collapsed onto her bed, battling against the wave of fatigue that consumed her as soon as she relaxed her body. Soon, the wave took over and she was plunged into darkness.

"**_Aerith_**…."

_What? Where is that voice coming from?_

"_**Aerith**…."_

_There it is again… Who is it? _

"_**Aerith**…."_

_My eyes fluttered open from the bliss of sleep as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. That faint whispering was not from my dreams, it was from…_

"_**Aerith**…"_

_A tortured groan sounded next to me and I realized it was Cloud. As I lay there, listening to his cries, my heart throbbed. I shut my eyes tight to block them out, but they just sounded louder and louder. His wispy breathes flowed into my heart and I realized… He was calling for **her**._

"_**Aerith**…"_

_His face was beaded with strings of sweat, his breathe overwrought and shallow, parching his lips. His head constantly turned in silent pain, his fingers twitching. A sudden cloud of dread settled upon me as I realized his terrible trembling at an invisible wind. I should have put a blanket over him, I scolded myself as I rushed to the bathroom down the hall, grabbing a face towel and filling a small basin with cool water. I worked quickly, but kept my noise to a minimum in case I was to wake the kids. _

_When I got back to the room with the towel and the basin, his voice was reduced to barely audible whispers. When I dunked the towel in the basin and wrung it, his cries continued to go on unanswered. As I wiped his face with the towel, I heard myself answer him._

"_It's okay… I'm here… I'm here…."_

_All the while, he continued to call for **her**… and I pathetically tried to comfort him. Soon, when I dipped the towel in the basin once more, I heard my own voice squeak, falter and disappear. Something stung my eyes like acid, and my chest tightened agonizingly. My own skin radiated hot, but I forced the wetness behind my eyelids back. _

_No Tifa… **don't**… don't cry... don't cry…_

_The rest was all a blur. As I traced the perfect curves of his face with the cool towel, his cries grew more desperate and forced while I continued my work with rivers of tears running down my face and squeaked out "It's okay"… But when I tried to bring myself to say "I'm here", a large sob chocked my throat. He doesn't want me here. He wants **her**, and **her** only. He doesn't care if anyone else cares about him, as long as she is there, that's all that matters. But I furiously wiped the tears from my face and wiped his neck and arms, which also glistened with sweat. All the while, my heart was shattering with each time he breathed her name… and not mine…_

_Why… why did it have to be me? Why did it have to be me to have fallen so deeply, so madly, in love with him? This pain, it rips me apart so slowly… it tears at my heartstrings, it sucks the strength from my muscles, the oxygen from my lungs… to think that I could have fallen **so** hard… for this man… for this man who loves another with equal passion… who won't let anyone else near him except her… who won't **live** without her… who's whole world revolves around her…_

_And in that world… **I** don't exist…_

Well? lol I'm sorry that this chapter was a bit boring, but I wanted to just portray Tifa's sorrow a bit more with some Cloud interaction lol. I don't know if that made sense though. But anyhoo, please review and don't forget, constructive criticism is always most welcome! Just be nice… lol.

Bai bai, guys! Until the next update!


	3. A Fork In The Road

Hello again! Once again, thanks to all of you for your wonderful reviews! . You have absolutely no idea how much they cheer me up! But just so you guys know, I went on some of your profiles and read your stories and they are AMAZING! I couldn't believe that such amazing authors like you actually reviewed MY story and thought it was decent! I felt so glad that you guys are so selfless to review my totally inferior story! . I'm so happy to have met people like you guys!

Well… once again, I blabber too much, on with the story!

**Final Fantasy VII: Breathe**

**By Healing Spirit**

**Chapter Three: A Fork in the Road**

He left before daybreak.

Denzel and Marlene opened the door of Tifa's room to find her slumped on the floor next to Cloud's bed, arms and head resting on the sheets, with a basin of water on the floor and a towel lying lazily on the table between the two beds. Her hair fell over her peaceful face, but when looked at closely, it was still stained with dried tears.

"Tifa! Tifa!" Marlene ran over to her with Denzel trailing behind. "Wake up!" She shook her gently, while Denzel gazed at the empty bed Tifa was leaning on. There was no one occupying it. He and Marlene knew what was happening. They knew of Tifa's heart ache and Cloud's constant disappearance. They knew that he was the one causing the never-relenting air of sadness that seemed to follow Tifa no matter where she went or what she persistently said she felt. Her smile was always forced, her happiness always false. If only they could do something to make him stay, if only for a few more days, then she could be happy. Denzel felt a tremendous rise of anger toward him, toward this man who keeps pursuing his own false dreams but pushes away the ones who truly care for him.

"Marlene?" Tifa groaned as she lifted her head from the warm sheets. "Tifa!" Marlene smiled, sneaking a furtive glance at Denzel, who also glanced back. "Come down to the kitchen! We have a surprise for you!"

She slipped her small hand into Tifa's, and pulled her toward the door. But before they went through the doorway, Tifa looked back at the empty bed with an unreadable glance.

…………

"Surprise!"

With a moment of shock, Tifa's eyes widened upon seeing Yuffie, standing before a table filled with all sort of delicacies and delicious dishes, all her favorite. Marlene and Denzel went on either side of her and joined her in an elaborate but silly looking pose. It was hard to suppress her giggle, and she didn't bother to.

"Marlene, did you plan this?" Tifa looked at her with a mock air of suspicion. Marlene smiled her beautiful smile, her eyes twinkling. Denzel also smiled upon seeing Tifa's genuine joy.

"Hey! Don't I get any credit?" Yuffie cried indignantly, crossing her arms, a small grin tugging at her lips. Tifa laughed freely as she crossed the room and embraced her long-time friend. "I thought you were just in for the free food!" She teased.

"For your information," Yuffie grinned. "The three of us cooked this!"

"Wow, the great ninja can kick butt, _and_ cook? Who would have known?"

"You bet! I am a woman of many talents!"

"Woman? You seem more like a girl to me!"

"I am sooo a woman!"

"Oh really?"

"Of course!"

Denzel and Marlene watched amusingly as the two women went back and forth. Finally, Marlene burst out, "Let's eat!"

Both Tifa and Yuffie looked over at her and then back at each other. "Yeah, we should. I'm starving!" Yuffie grabbed a chair and sat down before Tifa could respond. Marlene and Denzel also seated themselves, each grabbing a plate and a pair of chopsticks.

"Well? Don't you won't to taste my wonderful cooking?" Tifa raised an eyebrow at that statement while also pulling out a chair and eyeing the food doubtfully.

"Denzel, if I get poisoned, you and Marlene can avenge my death."

……………

"Tifa, I'm full. Can Denzel and I go play?"

"Hm… did you finish your peas?"

"Mhm!" Marlene proudly displayed her plate, which was clearly clean and devoid of any peas. "So can we?"

"Hm… I don't know," Tifa smiled at Marlene's innocent look. "You might have hidden them… here!" Tifa's hands suddenly shoot out and started to tickle Marlene's stomach, her smile growing at the sound of her laughter. When Denzel tried to help Marlene, Tifa took the chance to get them both. The three of them laughed and giggled loudly as Yuffie beamed upon the sight. The only one missing in this picture… is him.

When the two of them ran off to play, Yuffie turned to Tifa. "Tifa, I have to tell you the real reason we made this lunch."

Tifa looked up from her plate and waited patiently for her to continue, while a feeling in the back of her mind knew why.

"Marlene and Denzel have told me about Cloud. They are really worried about you, and I am too. I didn't tell the others because they wouldn't understand this 'girl stuff'."

Tifa nodded stiffly, the saddened expression settling back on her face at the thought of him.

"I just wanted to know. Tifa, how to you feel about him? Do you really… _love_ him?"

She didn't need to answer. The silence was so thick that a knife could have sliced through it. The answer was as plain and evident as the reason Cloud is never home. After a couple more minutes, Tifa closed her eyes and spoke in a pained voice that made her seem years beyond her age.

"I don't know what to do, Yuffie. Every time he comes back, I don't know what I can say or do to make him stay. The kids miss him just as much as I do. I want them to grow up with a male figure to look up to. I don't want Denzel growing up to see Cloud always leaving and then using that as a guideline."

"But the kids need you more, Tifa. They love you and care about you. The reason why they came to me was because they didn't know what to do anymore."

Tifa's gaze rose slightly as she stared off into space. "But what can I do? I try to offer them a normal life, though I am not their blood mother. I want to be their mother, to watch them grow up. But it doesn't seem possible. I'm being selfish by not doing what's best for them."

Yuffie was still. This situation was more complicated then she thought. Does Cloud know of all this?

"Tifa… why don't you ask him to stay?"

"Because it is his choice. He chooses to chase after the past because he still loves her. I can't stop him."

"Do you love him?"

It was a rhetorical question and both of them knew the answer before she even finished saying it. Tifa sighed deeply before resting her head on her hand.

"He doesn't care whether I want him to stay or not. It won't even matter to him if I'm not there."

"Tifa," Yuffie firmly placed her hand on her friend's, her warm brown eyes confident. "If you love him, don't let him go. If you really love him, you should **beg** him to stay, rather than let him leave. If you really love him, you shouldn't let him go on chasing the past, but lead him home where people care for him. If you really love him, you should fight for him, no matter what happens. Find some way to burrow it into his head so that he knows that you are there. Don't just do it for yourself Tifa, do it for the kids, for me, for your friends that are worried about you two, and for **him**. He needs someone to make him realize that we love him and are concerned about him; that she was not the only one who went on that journey with him."

Tifa looked into Yuffie's eyes, her own uncertain and doubtful.

"What if I can't make him stay?"

"Then you run after him. You scream, cry, whatever it takes to make him stay. You have nothing to lose except him."

…………………

Sorry that this chapter was boring, please forgive me. But it's also very important to the plot, and an event that will happen soon enough. . Thanks again, guys! I love you, and see you until the next update!

P.S. For newcomers, don't forget that constructive criticism is most welcome, so don't be shy!


	4. Stars Against a Barren Sky

HEY GUYS!!!!! LOLOL I'm soooo sorry for not updating sooner! Oh my goodness… I bet my teachers are actually torturers in disguise out to ruin my life. LOL No, they are actually some of the best teachers I've ever met. But still, I'm barely scrapping to get enough time to update. So this time, I made the chapter longer. Since I'll probably not update that much, I'll try to make the chapters longer from now on! Now enough of my blabbering, on with the story!

By the way, _VIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVII _is now my separations since others won't work. Italics are thoughts and regular font is not in pov. Don't worry, you'll know who's pov it's in. The first section in this chapter is Cloud thinking. Thank you!

**Final Fantasy VII: Breathe**

**By Healing Spirit**

**Chapter Four: Stars Against A Barren Sky**

_There are no stars out today._

_The sky is empty, devoid of any source of light; conquered by darkness._ _Like this world. No matter how many times we save it, it will just go and mess itself up again. Is there such thing as an eternal peace? Where everything rights itself, and there will be no more fighting. No more bloodshed. No more deaths…_

_**Aerith…**_

_It's been two years since you died._

_Since you took the initiative to go yourself…_

_Since I didn't know until too late…_

_Since…_

_**I let you die**…_

_I didn't save you… because I was too weak. Because I was not strong enough… because I… I don't deserve you…_

_Riding through this barren desert so sere and bare… like my heart that has forgotten how to see… how to listen… how to… **breathe**…_

_For miles, the only familiar sound I can hear is the roaring of my own motorcycle as it's traveling at high speed, distorting the surrounding environment, locking me in my thoughts. The fiery lantern in the sky had long settled below the distant horizon, allowing harsh, icy winds to rip through the landscape, chilling me to my very bones._

_Out of nowhere, I find myself craving a beer. I find myself craving its poison running through my veins, releasing me from this world; from this pain… from this reality…_

_Aerith… can you see who I have **become**? Can you see the shame and guilt that rips me apart, piece by painful piece… and the ache that **devours** my heart? Can you hear the silent cries I scream in agony, for you to come back… for you to be by my side… for you to stop this suffering that only **you** can ease..._

_Every night, I see you **die** once more… I see your beautiful face… your salty tears… _

…_your smile…_

_I'm here. Your church, where we met that faithful night… where I gazed upon these flowers for the first time. These flowers… they haven't died… Aerith. They are still alive, they are still thriving… stronger than ever. I promise. I will never let them die._

_A ride through an empty terrain… this place… where I laid you to rest… where we exchanged our final goodbyes… where I lost you…_

_No…_

_Where I lost **myself**._

_The water… still so beautiful… **stilling** the shine of your smile… as your face submerged below the waves…_

_I close my eyes._

_Your presence… I feel you around me… are you here?_

…

_**Don't leave me… **_

A little boy's cry for the affection that he was so long denied.

_**Don't leave me again… I…**_

_I shook my head, feeling my hands trembling beneath my leather gloves. There must be something I can do. I'm so tired of always being late… always **useless**… always not strong enough… I'm so tired of **what if's**… of always wanting what is not there…_

_But I don't **want** to **believe**… I don't want to face it… I don't want to face **reality**… _

_I just want…_

_**To be alone.**_

_I will avenge you, Aerith…_

_For you… _

_I would give up glory, power, **being**…_

…_anything…_

_Do you understand? Can you hear me? Can you hear my voice echoing off these hallow walls?_

_**Don't you understand?**_

_I would **do**…_

…_**anything**…_

_For you to love me once more…_

_VIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVII_

"Cloud…"

Aqua orbs flutter open to the sound of a deep male voice, smooth as velvet. A figure in red stood at a distance…

Vincent stationed himself close to the Lifestream in silent glory, watching as the warrior lifted himself out of the water he was lying in, as slowly and heavily as if the water washing off his clothes carried the weight of the world. As the familiar face turned to meet his, he was shocked to find the condition he was in.

Eyes dulled, hair disheveled from perhaps hours of riding on his motorcycle, muscled body seemingly heavy with fatigue, a once young face aged beyond his years…

"Sashiburi, Cloud. It's been too long."

A silent ghost came in front of him, nodding in acknowledgment. _So I see. He is still mourning over Aerith…_

"How are Tifa and the children?"

Even at the mention of Tifa, his face remained emotionless. Vincent lowered his head and closed his eyes, slowly contemplating the state Cloud was in, the pieces clicking into place. "I see."

Waving a hand over to a secluded clearing among the glowing, chaste-white forest, his silent friend followed as Vincent led them over a narrow path. Leaning against the trunk of one of the trees, he observed as Cloud reached out a hand to lead the rest of his body down to the ground, plopping one of his hands on a knee. After a few moments of dead silence… he spoke up. "Vincent. What brings you here?"

"… How are you, Cloud?"

He didn't answer, but in the blink of an eye, was back on his feet, the cloth covering his arm and leg fluttering back into place. Wordlessly, he turned his back to his clocked friend. "Gomen nasai, Vincent. I want to be alone."

He watched with his crimson eyes through the stray bangs of his silky maroon hair as the blond warrior walked away…

**Until**…

"What if I said … I could bring her back?"

His feet stop **cold**.

With a sigh, Vincent pushes himself off the tree and floats over to where Cloud is frozen still; the soft thump of a reunited contact of his feet on the ground. A hand reaches out to rest on his padded shoulder.

"We know you're hurting Cloud. But you cannot do this. You cannot push away your friends."

A flash of blue eyes. A head turned to the side. A voice laden with hope.

"What do I have to do?"

Vincent tilts his head slightly upward in inquiry.

Cloud turns his head back in front of him, shielding the fraught glimmer in his eyes. "How do I bring her back?"

The glow of crimson fades. A hand is lifted off the padded shoulder. A back is turned to face a back.

"There is a cost."

He answers without hesitation.

"**I will do anything**."

Just by the tone of voice, an extreme desperation laced those few words.

All hope mustered into one simple phrase.

A tentative second creeps by. A breath of air escapes. Eyes close in defeat.

"If you truly will… then meet me back here in five days. But heed my words… you have to be willing to comply with the cost… no matter what the stakes…"

_VIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVII_

"See you later, Tifa!"

"Have a good night!"

It was closing time. After saying goodnight to the last remaining customers, Tifa rushed to the stove when a billowing cloud of smoke started to rise into the air from the pot. While she busied herself with dinner, Denzel and Marlene were sitting outside the bar, gazing up at the clear night sky.

"Denzel?"

"Hm?"

"Are stars actually fireflies?"

Denzel looked over at Marlene, who was smiling amusingly at her revelation. However, his face was solemn and serious; listening to the clattering of dishes in the kitchen. "If they are, then how come they are sometimes not there?"

"Well…" Her cute face scrunched up in contemplation. "I think that maybe… they come out when someone is in need of hope. Since… I don't know how to say it!"

Denzel smiled lightly at her, taking her hand in his as they both studied the stars more closely. "So that someone can have guidance in whatever they are suffering through. They are suffering so much, that hope seems far away. But all they have to do is look up at the sky, and they see millions of fireflies lighting their way, right?"

"Um… right!" Marlene giggled, turning to look up at her big brother. Though they were both not blood related, they were closer then any brother and sister can be. She looked up to him for his wisdom and his guidance. When neither of them can find a solution, by themselves, they look to each other to think of something together. And the one they both looked up to, was Tifa and… Cloud. Except he's never home, or very rarely for more than a night. It wasn't like before, when he actually thought of this place as his home, with Marlene, Denzel and… Tifa… as his family.

"Denzel…" The one being addressed looked over. With a smile, the little girl continued.

"I think Tifa and Cloud need the fireflies now."

Denzel's sapphire eyes glistened with an unreadable emotion at Marlene's words. But before he could respond, a faint roaring sounded from the distance. As he stood, Marlene followed his gaze curiously, as the familiar sound grew louder and louder. At this point, the impending figure came into view.

_VIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVII_

"Marlene! Denzel! Dinner!"

Tifa called out to the two kids situated on the stoop while dividing the pot of noodles into three bowls. When she turned to get the chicken that was roasting in the oven, three pairs of footsteps walked into the room, one pair louder than the other two. He stood still, watching her setting out dinner without even once looking up to discover him. Marlene was the first to speak.

"Tifa!"

"Marlene, Denzel, go wash your hands while…" Her voice died out. Her eyes traveled up from black shoes to baggy pants, a wool shirt with a shoulder guard attached to a long black cloth that covered his left arm, and finally, to startling blue eyes boring deep into her own hazel ones.

"Cloud?"

He nodded his head to her, face still emotionless and cold. Marlene and Denzel left his side to go wash their hands as Tifa had instructed, leaving the two adults alone in the room. It was a while until Tifa collected herself.

"Uh… I'll get another bowl."

He quietly set down his mammoth sword against the wall, sat down in a chair and waited patiently as Tifa hurried back and forth, bringing more dishes from the stove. All the while, Tifa avoided his gaze nervously, feeling her heart skip a beat whenever he caught her looking at him.

Dinner was silent. All four of them could feel the tension hanging in the room like a thick blanket. Denzel broke the silence eagerly with a starting conversation. "Marlene made an interesting discovery today."

Tifa turned away from watching Cloud silently eat his noodles and settled her gaze on Marlene. "Oh, really? What was it, Marlene?"

Marlene grinned, showing pearly white teeth. "I discovered that stars are actually fireflies that light up to give people hope!"

"Really? Wow, I never knew that!" Tifa exclaimed, standing up to reach for the knife. As she listened to Marlene's explanation, she cut the whole chicken, setting down a large piece for everyone. When she gave Cloud his piece, she was disappointed that he didn't even look up but continued to eat his dinner with his head slightly bowed.

_Look at me…_

However, as Marlene finished off her explanation (with a few stumbles and mispronunciations), the raven-haired beauty turned to her with a sweet smile, complimenting her "great scientific discovery". All the while, unbeknownst to her, her childhood friend watched her.

_VIIVIIVIIVIIVII_

"Cloud, what is this?"

Tifa looked up from the dishes at Marlene's question. With a gasp, she rushed to the threesome still at the table. Wordlessly, she uncovered his arm from the cloth and gazed upon the gruesome, open gash. Her ruby gaze shifted to his impassive face. "Where did you get this?"

He remained silent, moving away from her intense stare. "It's nothing."

"I will decide if it is nothing, Cloud. Come here."

Taking his other arm gently but forcefully, she stirred him up across the room and up the stairs while calling back to Denzel to finish clearing the table. "Sit," she directed Cloud toward his bed across from hers, while proceeding to fetch the first-aid kit from the bathroom cabinet.

For the next ten minutes, no sound penetrated the deafening silence as Tifa went about with her work to disinfect the wound, apply medicine to it, and then wrap it up in a sterile cloth. All the while, she avoided the gaze of the man sitting upon the bed, and his burning presence emitting heat that set her temperature aflame.

"There, does it feel better?"

He looked down at his newly bandaged arm. When she didn't receive an answer, she snuck a pained-smile and gently slapped his other arm. "Now get some rest, I'm sure you're very tired."

As her heavy feet carried her to the door, her heart fell with every step. Right before she stepped out the doorway, a soft voice cut through the darkness, so soft she would have missed it if she wasn't listening.

"Thank you."

"Uh…" Why was she blushing so easily? _Remember Tifa, he doesn't care about you… _A sad smile set upon her lips. "You… You're welcome… Cloud."

_VIIVIIVIIVIIVII_

_That night, he didn't leave. Nor did he leave the next night. _

_My heart is pounding in my chest. How can this be? Is he… is he really…?_

_Could he have changed? What happened that night? Why is he staying?_

_Oh, I dare not believe it… Right, Tifa. That's why you are now smiling like a fool, right?_

Her head rose to the moon out the window, as the sounds of Denzel and Marlene playing drifted up to her room. But this time, she knew Cloud was there, watching them with his stoic face. However, she knew he would smile in time, since he had finally taken the chance to accept them as his real family. And maybe… one day acknowledge her as a friend… and maybe… one day know how much she loved him. An uncontrollable smile lifted the edges of her cherry lips as the glimmer of unshed tears slipped off the edges of her eyes.

_The stars look so beautiful tonight._

VIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVII

What do you think guys? I'm sorry, I really not a good writer. The only real thing that keeps me going is of course, you guys . and my undying love for CloudXTifa!! So, please read and review, and don't forget, constructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome! And just so you know, THIS STORY'S NOT FINISHED YET! LOL Nope! FAAARR from it! So stay tuned for chapter five: To Fly with Broken Wings!!!!

Love, Healing Spirit


	5. To Fly With Broken Wings

Hey guys

Hey guys! Healing Spirit's back! (Readers throw rotten tomatoes and other spoiled fruit at authoress.) Ack! I know, I'm so sorry this chapter took so long to be posted! I knew that I needed to continue this story no matter what (I mean, come on. It's CloudXTifa! :-P) and also wanted to move along the story so that we can get to the good part sooner! Anyhoo, enough with my chattering, on with the story!

**Warning**: Very sad scene! .

**Final Fantasy VII: Breathe**

**By Healing Spirit**

**Chapter Five: To Fly with Broken Wings**

_It's been five days since Cloud started staying home and only taking deliveries that were close by. _

_He seems to be in a better mood these days. I even saw a little smile the other day when Marlene showed him the pictures she drew of him! She had complained that she had trouble with his hair, but he said just think of a chocobo. _

_Since he's been spending more time at home these days, he and the kids have been planning his routes together. It warms my heart to see them all together like a real family. Cloud really doesn't realize how much the kids need him… especially Denzel. Cloud had found him near Aerith's church and brought him home. Though we already had our hands full with the bar, his delivery service and Marlene, he insisted that Aerith gave him to us, and so we took him in._

_To this day, he still looks to Cloud to verify everything I say. One time, I was telling him of our adventures in AVALANCHE and he goes to Cloud to ask whether or not I was telling the truth about him dressing up as a girl. I felt hurt that he didn't trust me as much as he trusted Cloud, but I understood that Cloud was like his father. Denzel needs a father more than a mother. I can't be both._

_Marlene… a smile comes to my face when I think of her. She is my daughter, blood or not. She is the closest one to me these days. She can read me unlike any other, not even Yuffie. Whenever Cloud wasn't there, she would always offer to help me run the bar. However, when nighttime comes and the big drinkers come in, I refuse her help and send her upstairs with Denzel. She is now begging me to teach her my martial arts moves. Haha… of course I agreed but now was too early. We'll have to wait until she can develop some muscle._

_However, being the perceptive girl that she is, she was also the first one to notice tension between me and Cloud, even before me or Cloud did. One day, when Barack____asked to talk to her, I overheard her telling him how often Cloud and I fought. She was afraid that we hated each other and would want to separate. Then where would she and Denzel go?_

_I told Cloud this and he understood the importance of this situation. This time, I couldn't let my emotions show through whenever Cloud decided he wanted to come home. Though I love Cloud, Marlene and Denzel are my children. I hope to God that one day, Cloud would realize that they are his too._

_But Marlene saw through my façade quicker than I thought. One night, when Cloud asked for a drink, I started a conversation about this man that came to the bar. I told him about how he stayed so late that I had to kick him out before the kids would wake up and find a strange man still at the bar. Cloud responded with an empty "You don't say" as he took another swing of his beer. This was our feeble attempt to talk to each other. Oh, how I wanted to spill out everything to him, to have him understand me and me understand him back. I was so angry that he didn't even look at me. When had we drifted so far apart? _

_**When did our promise fade away**__...? _

_My heart burned to ask him these questions, but I couldn't… for the sake of Denzel and Marlene._

_Marlene happened to be passing by when she heard this "conversation" between me and Cloud. To the surprise of both Cloud and I, she burst into tears. "You tell him about that man every day, Tifa! And Cloud always says the same thing back!" _

_My heart dropped as I witnessed pearly tears usher out of her bright eyes... Marlene… we've hurt her because of our stupid fights and disagreements. Cloud… can't you see this? Can't you see Marlene crying, Denzel asking when you'll be home… my heart breaking?_

_I loved Aerith too! She was my friend and there where only three girls on the team, so we all had to stick together. Though she loved you as well but had the courage to show you her affection, I still respected her. In a lot of ways, she was like me._

_After all, we fell in love with the same man, didn't we?_

_Why can't you at least look at me when you settle down to sleep in the bed beside mine? Why don't you answer when I whisper "Good night?" Why didn't you ask if I was all right when I burned myself on the stove? Why didn't you respond when I asked you if you were hungry? Why do you ignore and totally disregard me when we are together with Denzel and Marlene? Who am I to you, Cloud? _

_To you, do I even __**exist**__?_

_Please Cloud, please tell me you realize all this now. You don't even have to love me back. Just stay home and be a good father to Denzel and Marlene. I know Aerith would have wanted that, too. And if you want… __**I won't bother you**__. You can trust me. I won't try to __**kiss you**__, or __**hug you**__, or even __**touch you**__ (Though the thought of doing such hurts me so much that I can't breathe sometimes) … This family means more to both of us, and I'm sure Aerith means more to you…_

_I promise… I'll never show you the fragments of my heart…_

_VIIVIIVIIVIIVII_

"Mm… that was delicious, Tifa!" Marlene beamed as she handed Tifa her empty plate. Licked clean.

"Love you," Tifa placed a kiss on her forehead as she felt pride lifting her heart at the compliment. Denzel and Cloud were still at the table; Denzel was telling him about some new store that was opening down the street from us. Glancing at the two of them, she couldn't help but smile. Hearing the excitement in Denzel's voice and seeing it glow in his face was more than Tifa could ever extract from him. She knew only Cloud could do that.

"Denzel, do you want to go watch the stars now?" Marlene skipped up beside the table and asked. She sounded so hopeful and there was a great deal of respect in her eyes.

"Not now, Marlene. I'm telling Cloud about that new game store down the street. I heard they're selling games for cheap on the opening day. Cloud said he might take me!"

Marlene huffed and walked away from the table. She approached Tifa, who was busy scrubbing the dirty dishes and lamented to her. "Tifa, Denzel said he's too busy to watch the fireflies with me!"

Tifa gave Marlene an understanding smile, tilting her head at Marlene's sour pout. She knew that before, when Cloud was never home, Denzel had been her constant companion. But now that Cloud was home, Denzel spent most of his time with him, therefore leaving Marlene alone.

"Hm… tell you what!" Tifa set down the dish and the rag she was holding and rinsed her hand under the lukewarm faucet water. She then whirled around to Marlene and bent over, placing her hands on her apron and flashing her pearly teeth in a cheeky smile.

"When those two guys are done eating, they'll have to wash the dishes themselves because I'm going to watch them with you!" At that, Denzel turned to face the girls. His eyebrows furrowed in displeasure. Cloud looked up from his plate.

"Hey! That's not fair!" Denzel knew how whiny he sounded, but he hated washing dishes.

"Ha! Of course it is!" Marlene grinned teasingly at Denzel and Cloud. "Now you two boys will have to wash your own dishes!" With that, she grabbed Tifa's hand and led her out the door of the bar. On the way to the door, Tifa caught Cloud's eyes. For the life of her, Tifa could never read what he was thinking beneath those beautiful mako-induced turquoise eyes. She could feel them boring into her as she headed out the front porch with Marlene.

_VIIVIIVIIVIIVII _

"Tifa?" Marlene looked up at her "mother" with large, adoring eyes. The two sat side by side on the front step, catching the occasional breeze that stumbled through the darkened Midgar streets. The sun had just set, so they were waiting patiently for the 'fireflies' to come out. Tifa blinked in response, looking down at her from her folded legs. Marlene's tone was light, innocent. "Is Cloud back to stay for good?"

Tifa had no answer.

She remembered a long night only a few weeks ago, when Marlene had come down with a fever and Tifa had tried to reach Cloud countless times, each time ending with the annoying voicemail ringing in her ear. She tried to the point of desperation, tears threatening to spill at the thought of _even_ when they needed him most, he didn't bother to pick up his phone.

_Oh Cloud, what has become of you?_

That night, she had run with all her might to the nearest drug store (that was a couple of miles away) to buy some medicine for Marlene, knowing that she couldn't leave her alone for too long. Though it had taken only an hour, by the time she got back, Denzel was close to a nervous breakdown, choking out that Marlene wasn't breathing.

If she had gotten there a minute later, Marlene would have been dead.

Did Cloud even know of that? She knew Marlene would never have told him. The poor dear still had faith in him, even when he abandoned her in her greatest time of need. But she could have _died_! As much as Tifa wanted to believe in him with the same childish trust, her faith in him died a long time ago…

"I don't know…" Her waterfall of raven hair swished side to side as Tifa shook her head. Cherry lips parted in an attempt to draw in the cool night air. "We can only hope."

Marlene knew better than to press the wound. Withdrawing her honey-brown gaze, she wrapped her arms around her legs as well, imitating Tifa. How she wanted to offer some words of comfort, something that could show her mom that even without Cloud, they could be a family. Even if one day, he never came back, they could live without him.

"Tifa?" A small hand gently touched a larger one, a question. Tifa's soft gaze rested on Marlene's. The corner of her lips lifted as she opened her grasp and slipped her slender fingers into her miniature hand.

The two sat quietly, comforted by the heat emitted from each other's palms.

_VIIVIIVIIVIIVII_

"Cloud? Where are you going?"

Both girls turned at the anxiety laced in Denzel's voice. A deep, masculine voice answered him in a mumble.

"I have to go, Denzel. It's urgent."

"Is it close by?"

"… no."

"But you've only just came back! Why are you leaving again?"

Tifa slowly rose to her feet, her heart thudding inside her chest. Marlene followed, looking at her elder with worried eyes and then shifting them to the two figures still seated at the dinner table. The tall brunette beauty waited with bated breath, not daring to believe what her eyes and ears told her.

"Cloud! This isn't fair!" Denzel was in clear distress. His probing eyes were frantic.

A pause before an afterthought. "Tifa will take care of you."

An afterthought. Tifa will take care of you.

Marlene bit her lip and her doe-eyes shimmered. She had felt Tifa involuntary shudder at Cloud's cold statement. Did he even realize what he had said?

"I have to go," the former soldier muttered, rising from his seat. His chair's squeak echoed in the discomfortingly quiet room. Tifa winced as it hit her ears. She could only see the back of his golden head, the strong curves of his shoulders, his lean, muscled back and legs, the determined stance of his feet. He stood motionless for a second, the angle of his head too low to meet Denzel's searching gaze. And then he lowered his head further as if in guilt and twisted a foot to turn around to the door.

"Marlene, Denzel, go to bed."

Tifa's hand had traveled to Marlene's back, propelling her gently forward. Her voice was steady as she stepped back into the threshold of the bar, her sharp eyes holding the mako-soldier in his place, daring him to move one step further.

Marlene's miniature hands rested on Denzel's arm, as he felt the tears welling in his heart, threatening to overflow the confines of his eyes. Tifa's eyes flickered to the children to make sure they were making their way up the stairs before glaring again to Cloud's back.

The two were frozen like statues before the click of the bedroom door ripped through the thick atmosphere.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Cloud's chin came up at Tifa's unexpected tone. But he still didn't face her. Tifa trembled with building rage. The fire inside was scorching her, ready to consume them both. She was glad he didn't face her. She couldn't look at him either.

Two childhood friends who can't even meet eye to eye.

"You come home after weeks, never having left **one** message, one**sign** that you are still alive. And now you're leaving **again**?" Her voice rose a couple octaves, unrestrained. But still, the golden-haired soldier did not respond. Tifa felt her chest constrict. She never imagined that this confrontation would be so painful. That it would make her feel as if she were tearing apart her own heart, piece by piece. But she had to do this. She couldn't take this bleak existence any longer.

"Do you know how many sleepless nights Denzel and Marlene had spent waiting for you? Do you know how many questions I had to leave unanswered because I didn't know where you were and whether or not you were ever coming home?" She gathered her courage, clutching to that glimmer of hope in a possible future.

"Stop doing this to us! Stop **hurting** us! Stop hurting **yourself**! Don't think that I don't know why you always leave. I know that you miss her, but don't you think she would want you to move on-"

She broke off when he whirled around suddenly, still avoiding her wild stare, brushing past her in an air of evasion. When she whirled around, once again, she was greeted with his back. Always his back. How many times had she seen him walk away, never looking back even once? She had to say something, something that would stop him this time.

"What _ha-appened_?"

When her voice broke, it surprised both of them. Cloud's steps stopped, his whole body having stilled. Tifa blinked sporadically, struggling to draw breath, knowing that she would have to sacrifice her pride in order to convince him to stay. But God, why did it have to hurt _so much_?

The gleam in her dark eyes was dying, and she lowered her head to have her bangs cover them like a curtain, shielding her heart from him. He was so still; she hoped that he could hear her. Not the fake Tifa that always saw him off with a smile and a wave, but the real one, the one that had crouched in a corner for all these years.

"How did it turn to this? I thought we could be a real family, raising Denzel and Marlene. I thought that was what you wanted. That was what I wanted, at least. After all the fighting, all the sadness, all the destruction, I thought we could reconstruct all the things that we lost in the struggle.

"Isn't that what you wanted? Didn't you want to have a family to love? To protect? To nurture and watch grow? Didn't you want to move on and start over? **Isn't that what you meant**? Otherwise, what was the point of destroying the evil? Didn't you want to be a regular person? Didn't you want to live with us and be **happy**?"

The tears were coming and she lifted her glistening eyes, pleading to the back of his head.

"We've been together through so much! When you said that you wanted to start over, I **believed** you! At first, I didn't know what happened, but I've been trying to fight whatever was pulling our family apart, whatever was making you leave all the time. But I didn't give up, and you shouldn't either! **Don't give up on our family!** Don't you think Denzel, Marlene and I are worth the fight?

"I kept **my** promise to stay! Shouldn't you? For our sake, **stop running away**!" Hot tears streamed down her flawless face. Her breath was strained and something was choking off her breath. But she persisted, refusing to let him leave without all her words sounding in his head. The single light bulb overhead cast their dark shadows in front of them.

"_When we made that promise… all those years ago… do you remember_?" Tifa reached out a hand to him, and her shadow reached as well. Cloud saw her shadow and stepped forward, turning his head to his other side. She drew her hand back as if she were burned.

"I meant **forever**. I didn't mean you would protect me until you didn't feel like it anymore. And when you agreed, I thought you meant forever too."

The silence rang louder than any words. Tifa didn't have any more to say, except, "Don't give up on this. If not for _my_ sake, then for Denzel and Marlene."

The words held a foreboding undertone. If he dared to leave, he is betraying Denzel and Marlene. Cloud's stance was hesitant.

Tifa stepped closer slowly, afraid that if she acted too hastily, he might dart away like a scared animal. His masculine scent swept over her and she felt so tiny next to his height. She could see the rippling muscle beneath the black cloth of his shirt and feel the heat from the back of his neck. Her heart twisted at the beauty of his form.

They stood so close that their shadows fell as one. _Why couldn't their souls be reflected as the same?_

He was so silent that Tifa's hopes built. Was he thinking of what she said? Was he going to stay? Had her confessions not been in vain?

More apprehensive moments ticked by. Until he finally mumbled something in a voice so low that if Tifa were not standing so close, she wouldn't have heard it.

"I have to go."

The air was still.

Cloud took her silence as an acceptance and prepared to make his way to the door.

"**If you leave, don't come back**."

His steps stilled. Her breathing came long and slow.

A head twisted to the side, captivating blue eyes hard. Honey eyes still wet with unshed tears but firm.

Elongated minutes passing through eternity…

"**Goodbye**, **Tifa**."

_VIIVIIVIIVIIVII_

_His steps echoed against the wooden floor. _

_His tall form turned away from me, making steady strides towards the approaching doorway._

_With each step he took, I felt the Tifa crouching in the corner burying her head deeper into her arms._

_I wanted to reach out to him, but found that I couldn't move._

_He didn't want to stay. I couldn't make him stay. He didn't listen to a word I had said. He didn't care._

_I watched him walk away for a long time until something fell off the shelf inside me._

"_**What if I can't make him stay?"**_

"_**Then you run after him. You scream, cry, whatever it takes to make him stay. You have nothing to lose except him."**_

_Nothing to lose… except him._

_My legs broke out of my self-formed cast._

_The Tifa in the corner lifted her head with pouring tears, stood and started to run._

_**Let me fly to him with broken wings.**_

_A voice that I never knew I had broke out of my throat._

"_**STOP!**__"_

_I heard his motorcycle rev, and quickened my pace, knowing that I had to stop him before he left. It felt like one of those dreams where no matter how much you strained, you could never run fast enough. No matter how hard you pumped your legs, they could never reach him._

"_**Wait, Cloud! Stop!**__"_

_Is my voice reaching him? Is my heart reaching him? Why is he not stopping?_

_I came out of the bar just in time to see his motorcycle pulling away from the curb. I raised my arms to cover my eyes from an assault of dust. As the cloud dissipated, I saw that he was driving away at full speed._

"_**S-top**__-"_

_My voice faltered again._

_I fell to my knees on the rough concrete._

_The roaring of his motorcycle grew faint in the distance._

_My face was hot and streaming with fresh tears. They flowed in a strong torrent down my cheeks, running fast down my neck, soaking into my black shirt. I raised my face to the ebony tapestry in the sky and closed my eyes._

_No… _

_**No...**_

_Cloud, don't… _

…_**don't give up on us**__…_

_VIIVIIVIIVIIVII_

So… what do you guys think? I know, this is all waaayy too depressing. Don't worry, soon it'll get a little more uplifting! (I think you guys can guess why!) Poor Tifa!! . STUPID CLOUD!! ARGGHH!! SERIOUSLY! He needs to get. A. Grip! But it IS Aerith. Who wouldn't be depressed to lose her? Man… I would hate to choose between Tifa and Aerith. Of course, I'm very bias… CLOTI FOREVER!! I like Clorith too, but I just love Tifa!

(Now, here's some teasers for the next chapter! .)

"_Cloud? W…why are you back?"_

…………………………………………………………………_.._

"_Vincent?"_

……………………………………………………………………_._

"_I had warned you that the cost would be great. Do you still accept?"_

"… _I…"_

……………………………………………………………………

_Marlene… Denzel… please know that I love you with all my heart._

……………………………………………………………………_._

"_Tifa?"_

_But she had already disappeared down the stairs._

……………………………………………………………………………_._

_Turquoise eyes were shimmering with fierce emotion. It threatened to spill over his life-long restraint held so tightly over the reins. Now, in one second, his hold dissolved into ashes._

"_**Ae**__…__**rith**__…?"_

_VIIVIIVIIVIIVII_

Thank you for reading and please review! I'll try to update very soon!

Love, Healing Spirit


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